The Mask

Do I want to be loved
Do I want to be in love
I wonder
Day after day, the loneliness seems to get worse
I cried yesterday, it felt better
What hurts more, being alone or feeling lonely
I tried to be positive, thinking of the secret book
sometimes its very difficult

Last night I awoke thinking my room was full of people
People I know, People whom makes me smile
I slept again alone in a cold bed
I didn’t use the blanket
I wanted to feel the chillness and loneliness
I wanted my body to be immune
My heart to be numb

In the morning, i carefully take out
my always-be-happy-smiling mask and put it on
to start the day with a positive note
I’ve been doing this for many years
once a friend said, you should stop running
and face your mother and life
Am I running, I thought I was enjoying my life
doing what I want
If I always seek happiness
why I haven’t found it yet
is it inside me

this month, this moment of a minute
its frozen in my mind
can’t seem to shake it off
does having someone in my life
would be the answer
I wonder
i do want to be loved, though
cliche maybe, but this is my life

12/08/2008 – Poovan
637am, bus 48, on the way to work

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