The Enigma of Arrival and Departure – repost

Lately I’ve been thinking of my time in London. Its a mix of excitement and sorrow. Since my arrival to my departure. Moving to London is the most nerve-wrecking adventure in my life. Hope mixed dream, all in anticipation of survival. I have f***king awesome time. Reminiscent something can really bring you down. But I’ve learned to read between lines. London has molded me to become a better person. i explored the pain of leaving london through this monologue. I read this in front of an audience. I must thanks Andra Simons, my coach whom put lots of effort to bring out the pain from me.. hope you enjoy it. feel free to leave some comments.. …


Remember the first time when we spoke about coming to London. It all seems like last week, but I’ve been here for 2 years now. I still remember the first day, the arrival hall in Heathrow, bustling with people from all corner of the world, standing there with my 15 litre back pack with a cigarette in my hand. Slowly inhaling the new air, exhaling the smoke. Shit! <period> What was I thinking coming to a foreign country with just courage as my ticket? I was finishing my cigarette when enigma started building my excitement and adventure. I recalled someone telling me if you’re bored of London than you’re bored of life. (period) Bagged with courage and braveness I step into my new life, a new horizon.

Everyday is a new discovery. My relationship with her slowly bloomed. She embraces me with constant changes and love. Sometimes I wonder what life would have been if I stayed home with my mother. Would I be different? What my life carved out to be? Piccadilly, Big Ben, Soho kept me busy. You know me well; I’m always looking out for off the beaten track too. I became familiar and started thinking what is so great about her. Not the busy life she kept everybody on, but the exuberant ray that she shined on all of us. I got famous saying; if you detour in another city you might get lost (even killed), a detour in London is the beginning of a great adventure and I believe every word of it.
But after a while something strange happen. Everyday i take bus no 159 to work and I pass the parliament house. The grandeur of Big Ben did not give me the same jollification as before. I wondered why. Lesson of life started. I learned everything in life fades away, what’s left is a memory, a time that resonates inside my head. Trees, cars, shops and people are the same everywhere.

But what is it with London that never seems to wear me out? What does she have that’s greater then everything? Whenever I feel down I always recollect the first day. I got out of the tube at Oxford Circus. It was around 543. The business of rush hour has just begun. I looked around. A slow titillation started mounting from the tip of my finger to my head. A sense of joy, a feeling of achievement slowly glorified my mind. The Victorian architecture, the ever famous top-shop, people from all walks of life, melting pot they say, different languages, and colors of eye, food, shoes… everything to the tiny details caught my attention. I was overwhelmed. That day I was definitely on a high note, it boosted my self confidence up few notches. I told myself I could take the world today if I wanted to.
It’s been 22 months since I arrived. Life has changed beyond my imagination. London has taught me happiness and pain. I am not the same person anymore. It feels like a vivid bazaar coming to an end. It pushes me to the edge where waiting is paramount. What would I do? If there is no more London, would I be lost, lost in a transit. Do you still remember how I use to plan everything? I still do. I’m still planning, writing down what I would do if I leave. Sometimes there is an answer inside the question, and because the mind is busy procrastinating, I cannot see it. Change is inevitable, it comes to you whether you accept it or not. All I can do is embrace the change, grab every opportunity that knocks my door. I am determined <period> I’m not giving up without a fight. <period> Would you still be there?

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